i'm not the kind of person who usually sets resolutions/goals b/c when my life gets too busy and hectic and i don't accomplish them i feel like a failure and i don't like feeling like a failure.
but, i have been thinking a lot lately about ME. you know the usual stuff, what could i be doing better, what could i do to improve the lives of my family, etc.
i don't think i've failed at life by any means, but there are some things i definitely need to get better at and quick. i'm just not too fond of change. i'm comfortable in my little daily routines, however hectic they may be. change is hard. change requires effort and participation from others.
so in my thinking the last few days a few things came to mind.
- i'm an out of sight out of mind kinda person. i want to change this. like with friends and family that live out of state. my life is so hectic that i just march along to my own little beat and realize it's been days, months, years since i've chatted on the phone with one of them. sure i think about them all the time, but with time differences, jobs, church, kids, etc making that phone call always gets pushed aside. this especially makes me sad about my sweet little nephews that are now in alaska. i don't want to this to happen with them. i miss them so. it also makes me sad for future nieces/nephews b/c i know they will be so far away. i know i'm not the only person like this b/c many of the folks i wish i kept in touch with better don't pick up the phone and call either. life is busy, hard, crazy and i know we all get so wrapped up in our own. i'm just going to try and make a better effort. so if you've been missing a phone call from me, hopefully i'll actually do this and you'll be talking to me soon!
- i'm bossy. ok, so i've always known this one. but, it's a perk from being the oldest of 4 siblings, right? that's the excuse i use anyways. i have this ever so wonderful friend who told me the other day that i wear the pants in my marriage. i totally argued with her and said she was wrong that matt and i just agree on most things and i don't always win. she wasn't convinced. so i went home and i asked matt. he laughed. didn't deny it. then pretty much told me i did, but why was i letting it bother me b/c i've never cared what anyone thought of me. (true) but, for some reason it made me feel like i was doing something wrong like denying matt of his manhood. i'm over it now. i'm just very self-conscious of the decisions i make now. or when i ask him a question i make sure to ask if he's answering for him or just letting me have the upper hand. the point i'm trying to make here is i personally think we each wear a leg of those pants i guess my legs are just fatter than his! we're a good team and that's all i care about!
anyways, while i work on those few things i will also once again try to stay committed to losing weight. i am going to run a 5k mud run in may. i'm scared. but, i already paid for it. so i need to get busy.
an unrelated note to this post. matt has been asked to help coach and his alma mater. he's in heaven. we really hope his lovely face being there everyday will land him a paying job this coming school year. too bad i can't use my bossy skills and make someone hire him! ha!
well, this was another lovely vomit blog post from me. just needed to update and this is all i had. work with me here people. i'm sure the very few people that read this will understand.
2 comments:
We do understand. I just love posts period. It was a good one anyways.
I completely agree with the out of touch thing. I have good intentions to call people and catch up or let them know that we're thinking about them. There are just not enough hours in my day. Good luck being better this year.
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